To the woman that I will call Mother in Law for the rest of her earthly life:

I found it interesting that in recent conversations with your peers, the least mean things that they had to say about you was that you are a “jerkface”, a “horrible person”, have a character that is “a little bit ugly” and “will end up alone”.

I, on the other hand, have loved you, I have liked you. I have even convinced your son to visit you when he was adamant about not seeing you. I have excused your shortcomings and ill temperament as a lack of awareness in the way you make people feel. I have graciously allowed you to take care of my child because you’d be hurt if I had made any other arrangement. I have attended your church, I have been friendly to your family and acquaintances. I have loved your mother as if she were my own grandmother. I have prayed for you. I have silenced my opinions simply to spare your feelings. Most recently, I sat back as you manipulated your way into getting my husband to agree to live with you. Or should I say, I graciously accepted your ‘opening of your home’ to us.

To what end?

So that you can consistently malign me, talk down to me, disrespect me, disrespect my husband (your son), spank my child without my permission, make me feel most unwelcome in your home, attack my parenting, roll your eyes at me, yell at me, smack your lips at me, throw Christian principles at me (while displaying the exact opposite yourself), and be completely dismissive of anything I have to say that does not expressly align with your narcissistic, self-centered point of view?

You madam are a bully. You are the most manipulative, selfish, toxic person to be around. You are a horrible mother, and I do not say that lightly. You constantly harangue and demean your son. You claim to want to be a mother to us both and yet you do everything in your power to make us keenly aware that we are unwelcome guests in your home. I take solace in knowing that the rest of the family with our surname feels the same way about you.

Though I am sure you’d like to think that you are some sort of fantabulous Christian, you are not. You are just as much a sinner as the rest of us and I would add that I truly hope that all the church you go to makes you feel better about the abhorrent person you are on the inside.

Your callous disregard for anyone other than yourself or your faithful servant husband knows no bounds. What sort of mother and grandmother throws a tantrum because her children asked her not to spank their child? What sort of mother subsequently agrees that daycare would be best for the child only to recant 5 minutes later, effectively evict and insult both their son and daughter in law in a profane way?

What sort of person then attempts to apologize for such terrible, childish behavior by stating that two parties no longer need to be nice to each other since one will soon be moving out? You guessed it, a lunatic. I beg you to look in the mirror and you will find such a lunatic.

If you think for one second that you can come and cry to my face in a fake apology for insulting both myself and your son once again, you are sorely mistaken. I do not, and will not accept your apology until you are well enough to actually understand the fact that it is unacceptable for an adult to have crying fits and hurl insults anytime her family members do not agree with her. It is a behavior that perhaps requires medication.

I will tell you that my choice to find a daycare for my child, and to effectively be placing my child’s wellbeing in the hands of a complete stranger, is a direct result of your childish behavior and apparent lack of ability to respect my husband and I as parents.

You are neither emotionally stable enough nor are you mentally well enough to continue to provide adequate care for my son. If you were, you wouldn’t need to smack him and manhandle him in such a way that increases his irritability and causes him to hit and threaten to hit others without provocation.

So regardless of how much you cry, yell, insult us. Or how much you justify your actions by claiming hurt feelings, you will no longer be a caregiver for my son.

That being said, I urge to take a good hard look at your behavior toward everyone around you and truly ask yourself why no one visits you, why your children don’t want to see you, and why your family might have nothing but harsh comments to say about you. This way you might not end up alone one day, and dependent on the person who you were the meanest to, and coincidentally, the only person who will advocate for you not to be placed in a nursing home in Russia, me.

 

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